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heffalumps and waterfalls :)

...a graceful time that does what it says on the tin...

sunny -17 °C

The exact goings-on at the full moon party will never be known because none of us can remember very much of it... What we can remember is that we drank some mega-buckets of rum...


...painted ourselves in flurescent war paint...


...and that Will passed out underneath the full moon party sign...


Oh and of course that it was AWESOME! :D

Saturday afternoon saw us crawl out from our beds a hungover mess of humanity. We each showered and delicatly made our way to the restaurant for breakfast - which aided the pain greatly. Having recovered somewhat, we decided to hire out 3 mopeds for a couple of days to allow to exploration of the many hidden treaures of Ko Pan-ngan.


Having never ridden (rode...driven...fucked-about on) mopeds before we had to lie a little bit here and there, but it didn't matter hugely as we were all such quick learners; in a matter of minutes we were speeding down the road, feeling the Gs tug at our faces as 20 kph of sheer pressure threatened to unbalance us!

Even at such breakneck speeds we managed to hold our form together all the way to the Northern end of "the road" that Ko pan-ngan is blessed with, right up until a patch of sand leapt out onto the road in front of us. Will managed to hold the wobble of his speeding bike, but alas Matt was not so lucky and he was hurled from his bike, crashing and skidding along the floor.

Once I had wrenched the bike off of his ankle Matt proclaimed to be fine. But, of course, he was wrong.

The burns and scrapes down his arm were somehwat unsightly, but luckily we are hardened veterens of disgusting sights (hence we can stand to travel with each other without wearing our full-head balaclavas that we wear around most other people.)


After a brief recovery time we headed back down the road to a pharmacy where a kind old man sorted us out with all the shit we'd need to sort out Matt's arm, even helping us to apply it the first time. Matt apparently wasn't so keen on me wiping his arm with hydrogen peroxide, so the old man took it upon himself to pour the acid all over Matt's arm instead - an old Thai tradition??

Either way, it seemed to do the trick and once Matt''s screams ofagony had died away we headed homewards.

We stopped before we got home though and Matt had an hour-long Thai massage whilst Will and I pressed on down the road, intent on discovering just how fast these mopeds could go ("very fast" is apparently about their top speed). We even found a giant shell!


Then we joined Matt and took him South down the road (much easier than travelling North) so that he could regain his shattered confidence in mopeds. It didn't take long and quickly we were speeding along happily and we headed home for dinner That evening we decided to go out for a drink and we headed back to the Bamboo Tattoo shop where they also had a bar. The guy there invited us in and sat us down on an awesome kind of "island of wood" surrounded by a small moat, complete with fish!

Will and I ordered cocktails but, since the barman was missing, the guy suggested that Will make his own cocktail. After a nano-second of consideration (for which he was chided - (untrue - there was actually no hesitation)) Will jumped behind the bar and slung together his drink, making only one mistake I think...adding Whiskey instead of...something... Then I made my drink (Muai Thai mix of rum - ace) and we chilled out big time. Then home and BEEEEDDD!!


Sunday was a day of joyfulness which started out with the re-cleaning and dressing of Matt's injury before a hearty breakfast. We then boarded our mopeds of glory and headed North, aiming for the waterfalls in the middle of the island. We got a tiny bit lost but before long we were hiking along jungle paths and up a mountain.

The first waterfall saw the invention of the Ko Pha-Ngan Shuffle - a dance move invented by Matt in an attempt to swim without getting his arm wet! Further trekking found us another waterfall and a broken down bridge which Will and I considered trying to traverse but changed our mind when I discovered that the chances of surviving the crossing were about equal to the chances of one of us falling off our mopeds - which had already happened. (I should point out that by "broken down bridge" I mean "four ropes stretched across a chasm").

We followed a nature trail next and were treated to an incredible view of the jungle and the company of a friendly couple that offered to take our picture for us. So eager was Will to have his picture taken that he all but shoulder-barged Matt off the top of a the rock that we were precariously balanced on! Unluckily Matt's cat like agility and my hand on his butt managed to prevent what could have been a wonderfully cleansing experience for our group and Matt survived :(


Being such intreprid explorers we decided to make our way back by climbing down the waterfall itself, which turned out to be kickass fun; slowly creeping down the rocks, frequently discovering hidden pools to cleanse our sweat-drenched bodies (is anybody else very aroused right now? No?...just me then.)

After many hours of adventuring we got back to to the start, had a drink and headed home. There we had dinner and bought tickets to a show of Muai Thai boxing that was set to hit Haad Rin that evening

We chilled out on the beach for a few hours, listening to happy summery music then jumped on our mopeds again and headed south. We arrived early so we had some drinks and desserts at a little place a tad too near the prostitute...holes, for comfort. then we were back at the boxing and were witness to quite an interesting spectacle of dudes beating each other somewhat senseless!

There was crazy music, manic Thai people screaming and betting, fists, feet, knees, elbows etc etc and it was all madness

I have to admit that i didn't realise that apparently the 2 boxers have to have a dance-off before the actual bout but it happened every time and the best dancer nearly always won the fight - I think that is where the real competition lies.... Then we went home very satisfied with our day!

Upon waking today we decided that Matt's arm wasn't looking as great as it could have done (not unlike Matt himself), so we whizzed on down to the pharmacy where we bought some more medical supplies and consulted the pharmacist for his professional opinion. He informed us that the sun rises in the east but sets in the west, proving physics.

We weren't entirely sure what his point was so we just ignored him and asked about Matt's arm. He seemed to think it was all going well, so we bought some more anti-biotics just to make sure and headed back home via the Laundry. Then we cleaned and dressed matt's wound again, endulging in the hilarity of watching Matt's face change into different shades of red as the hydrogen peroxide ate through his skin.

After burning Matt's arm for a while we headed up for breakfast/lunch (of which I had 2) and then shot off up the road to the safari parky areay place...y. It wasn't hard to find; there was a sign and a clear turn beforehand on the map...of course the half-dozen elephants by the side of the road helped too!!

We jumped off our bikes - Will forgot to stop first and went flying headfirst into an elephant's colon where we left him to maranade in his mistake for a while.

Once we hauled him free and gave him a good laughing at we paid up and boarded a couple of elephants, which took us for a fairly sureal wander up into the park where we were treated to a couple of especially wonderful views. Going to be honest here; this particular instance of elephant-riding...was kind of screwed-up.

The elephants didn't really look healthy...and the way that a couple of (clearly insane) elephants were chained up to perform strange-ass stunts was also very creepy. Also the whole twatting-with-a-pickaxe-in-the-head thing...was a bit awkward... Buuuut, ethical dilemmas can wait for now; what really matters is that Matt looks ACE riding an elephant - behold;


We survived (as we keep doing) and headed further up the road to a port-type town where we drove on down some dirt tracks to find a beach with a swing and a "view point". The beach was definitely better than the view point for the simple reason that somebody had decided to build a house...ontop of the view point. So...unless walls are "your thing" the view wasn't exactly orgasmic.

We zoomed back down the road, past the elephants and stopped in Chinese temple where we took a good long look at golden Buddahs, statues of crazy-looking Gods of all kindsa stuff and some funky little orange frog that we decided was part way through a 10,000 year long drawing of breath before it wouuld start to sing the song that would signal the end of the world...

That's the kinda thng that you have to put with when travelling with Matt Bunn.

Homewards bound we then were, taking a few pictues on the way for memory's sake. Dinner followed and twas delicious as always. We've just finished eating; Matt is reading Livy and Will is probably listening to music. We leave tomorrow morning at 07:00 for Ko Phi Phi - we should be there by around 15:00...it's a fairly long trek but we've had much much worse and in the recent past too!

I'll letcha know more as it happens.

Posted by Murorga 06:36 Archived in Thailand

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